Table of Contents
Transcript
Intro
Does your boss trust you? Can you tell?
Have you ever judged somebody on your team too quickly before knowing the whole story?
Has it ever felt like you only get noticed for your mistakes and not your accomplishments?
All these issues hinge on the subtle differences between trust and assumption at work. Recognizing those differences will make a world of difference in your workplace relationships with your team and your bosses.
Trust is the belief that something will happen based on evidence and past experience. Assumption, on the other hand, is an acceptance that something will happen without any evidence backing it up.
In this video, we’ll explore the differences between trust and assumption, show how they impact workplace relationships, and give you actionable steps for improving trust at work. So, let’s get into it.
Trust at work
So, what is trust? We throw the word around a lot.
“I trust you can handle this assignment.” “I trust my boss to have my back.”
But when we say those things, do we mean what we think we mean?
Trust is the belief that someone or something will behave or perform the way we expect. Trust is based on evidence and experience. Because of this, trust takes time to develop. It must be nurtured through consistent behaviour and performance. Trust provides a foundation for strong relationships in and out of the workplace. Trust requires vulnerability. When we trust someone, we’re prepared to depend on them and give them the benefit of the doubt. You will still recognize the risks but believe the outcome will match your expectations.
So, we cannot trust anyone we don’t have a relationship with. You may say you “trust” the folks down in accounting to process payroll on time, but without getting to know them, it’s not really trust.
On the other hand, if there’s someone on your team with whom you work constantly and who consistently delivers on their tasks, if you believe they will continue to perform the same way, you trust them.
So, how do we build trust?
Well, you won’t have a pattern of consistent behaviour or performance if you don’t recognize it.
Tip #1: Recognize consistent behavior.
And I don’t mean, “Oh look, that’s a thing that happened.” When I say “recognize,” I mean it the way Dale Carnegie would have meant it. Recognition must be communicated. It won’t do anyone any good if you keep it bottled up in your head.
Anytime, and I mean anytime (there’s rarely a wrong time for recognition), take the opportunity to recognize the strengths, skills, efforts or achievements of the people you work with. That includes the people who report to you and the people you report to. As Dale Carnegie said, “Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
If you appreciate something they’ve done, say so. Make it a habit of recognizing positive, consistent behaviour.
But, it’s essential that recognition be an activity by itself. I’m not talking about a quick Slack message or email saying, “Good Job,” or “Keep up the good work.”
There’s no one-size-fits-all method for recognition. It needs to be specific to each person you work with. But here’s a general framework to get you started.
- Highlight a specific praiseworthy behaviour, quality, or accomplishment.
- Incorporate evidence and put it into context. Use evidence to show how the employee positively impacts their work, team, company, clients, or customers.
- Use another positive statement to reinforce your recognition and drive home how much you value the employee.
To make the habit stick, follow Dale’s advice and find regular opportunities to practice recognition. And it shouldn’t stop with praise. Take every opportunity to provide feedback to the people you work with.
Tip #2: Provide regular feedback
Building on tip one, you should also make sure to provide regular feedback to the people you work with, including the people you report to, assuming the people above you are open to it. If sending feedback up the chain isn’t common in your workplace culture, you may have to find creative ways to provide feedback or wait for opportune moments.
What makes for good feedback? The recognition mentioned in the last tip is a good place to start. But since not all feedback will be positive, let’s look at the best way to give constructive feedback. I say constructive feedback because giving negative feedback rarely has the desired impact.
When giving constructive feedback, try to follow these handy rules:
- Start with praise, maybe… It’s a pretty standard suggestion to open any constructive feedback discussion with genuine praise. Proponents of this method, Dale Carnegie included, think you should begin with genuine praise. It helps if the praise ties in with the feedback, but it isn’t entirely necessary. Now, that being said, I have also heard people say that starting with praise confuses the conversation and that some employees prefer to jump into the feedback. To this, I say, read your audience. If you are already working to build relationships and trust at work, you should be able to pick out how they like to receive feedback. Much like the praise in tip one, tailor it to the individual.
- Feedback needs to be detailed and balanced. Replace vague comments with a focus on specific actions or behaviours. Saying, “Your presentation needs work,” doesn’t tell the employee anything. Instead, try, “I really enjoyed all the visuals you included in your presentation. What do you think about also including more detailed data?”
- Use questions, not orders. Did you notice how the second part of that last statement was phrased as a question? How do you think an employee would react to that? How would you feel if instead I had said, “Your presentation needs more detailed data?” Have you caught on to what I’m doing right now?
- Focus on the situation, not the person. In psychology, there’s a concept called Attribution Theory that focuses on how we interpret the causes of events and behaviours. These causes can be broken down into two categories: internal (relating to our personal characteristics like intelligence or attention) and external causes (like traffic, task difficulty or even luck). Here’s what’s important to remember. We have biases that lead us to attribute external causes to our situations but internal causes to others. So, if we’re late, we know it was traffic or the weather. But, if an employee is late, it’s because they don’t care or respect deadlines. I’m saying all this because you need to recognize these biases when providing feedback and focus on the situation (the external causes) instead of the person (the internal ones). If an employee misses a deadline or makes a mistake, force yourself to focus on the external factors that led to the problem. Instead of saying, “You’re never pay attention to deadlines!”, Try saying, “I really appreciate your attention to deadlines, and it surprised me that your last project was delivered late. Was there anything holding you back from delivering the project on time?”
- Praise. Every. Improvement. Okay, so you’ve given your constructive feedback. Maybe you started with praise, you were precise and fair, you asked questions instead of issuing orders, and you focused on the situation. Now what? Now, you need to look for even the slightest improvement and heap genuine praise on it. Going back to our last example. If your employee turns in their next project on time, you better recognize that improvement. Heck, even if they get it in less late than the last time, recognize the improvement.
Now, there’s one final thing you can do to help deliver feedback, but it’s so important that it needs its own tip.
Tip #3: Be transparent
Building trust at work requires vulnerability. The very act of trusting someone makes you vulnerable. You’ll need to be vulnerable and transparent to build trust with the people you work with.
Acknowledging your own mistakes when giving feedback demonstrates vulnerability. When you show genuine empathy and humility, team members are more receptive to feedback. Research shows that employees report higher job satisfaction when their supervisors openly acknowledge their own mistakes.
I could make a separate video on this, but to keep it short, admitting your own mistakes makes you more trustworthy. The people you work with will know you won’t hide the mistakes you make. It also models for your team that making mistakes is a part of professional growth.
Your team will feel more comfortable pushing the envelope and taking risks if you foster a culture where mistakes are seen as learning opportunities and not a target for punishment or humiliation. Acknowledging your own fallibility also humanizes you and makes you more approachable and relatable. If you lead by example, you encourage your team members to take responsibility for their actions and highlight their performance gaps. It creates an opportunity for the whole team to learn and grow from mistakes.
Trust is the belief that the people we work with will continue to perform and behave the way they have in the past. We establish and build trust by fostering relationships with our teams. Trust is built through praise, constructive feedback and vulnerability. The more we build these positive relationships in the workplace, the more we can trust our colleagues.
Now, before we tackle Assumption, I wanted to touch on one negative aspect of Trust—specifically, blind trust.
Trust is the belief that the people we work with will continue to perform and behave as they have in the past. We establish and build trust at work by fostering relationships with our teams through praise, constructive feedback, and vulnerability. The stronger these relationships become, the more trust we develop in our colleagues.
However, trust isn’t always perfect. While it can be a powerful foundation for workplace relationships, we need to address a potential downside: blind trust. Let’s look at what happens when trust lacks evidence and balance.
What is Blind Trust?
Blind Trust is trust without evidence or verification. It arises when we put more faith or goodwill into a relationship than the risks and evidence recommend.
Blind trust often appears when we’ve established a relationship but we don’t have the evidence or experience to back up our trust. It’s essential not to put the cart before the horse. Don’t let your feelings ignore any potential risks. Here are three tips for avoiding blind trust at work.
Tip #4: Trust, but verify.
There’s an old Russian proverb that I won’t butcher here. It translates to “Trust, but Verify.” President Ronald Reagan often invoked it in his meetings with Mikhail Gorbachev on nuclear arms treaties. For our purposes, it’s important to verify a colleague’s comfort level and skills before we delegate or assign tasks. It’s important to balance optimism with critical thinking.
Tip #5: It’s okay to start small.
If trust is built over time, it’s okay to start with small responsibilities and build from there. As you build trust, continue to rely on the tips I gave you earlier: praise, constructive feedback, and vulnerability.
If blind trust overlooks the lack of evidence, assumption takes it one step further by ignoring the need for evidence altogether. While blind trust stems from relationships without proper verification, assumptions bypass relationships and evidence, often leading to miscommunication and misunderstandings. Let’s dive into how assumptions can impact the workplace and how to avoid them.
Assumption in the workplace
Assumptions don’t require relationship building, and they don’t even require evidence. This is because assumptions are more habitual, even unconscious. If we just expect a project to be delivered on time without any verification, we’ve made an assumption. Likewise, if we jump to conclusions about an employee’s behaviour or performance, we’ve made an assumption. Assumptions come in all shapes and sizes, but they all feature the same ambivalence towards evidence.
The worst kinds of assumptions are stereotypes and prejudice based on first impressions, where we base our decisions on preconceived notions or overgeneralizations about a category of people. This is an obvious and egregious example of assumption, but many more subtle versions exist.
Assuming your team knows what’s expected of them without providing proper guidance or instruction is an assumption. Relying on patterns from past experiences without considering the unique context of each new situation in another example.
Assumptions are cognitive shorthand, so you’ve likely experienced their effects during your career. It’s not that we mean to offend when we make assumptions, but it takes effort to think through our decisions and interactions. And we may not always feel like we have the luxury of time to do that.
I know when my bosses made assumptions about me, it was often because a problem had just been detected, and in their haste to solve the problem, they didn’t take the time to think through everything logically.
Assumptions damage relationships, create miscommunication and reduce efficiency. If you remember back to my tip on Constructive Feedback, attributing mistakes or problems to a person’s character (instead of external factors) is a form of assumption that can damage trust and result in resentment or conflict. Assumptions often replace clear and direct communication, leading to misunderstandings and unmet expectations. Basing decisions on assumptions can waste time and resources.
I’ve worked jobs where I seldom received recognition when things were going well. It seemed like I would only grab my boss’s attention when something went wrong. There was one thing I can now see about those situations. Neither my bosses nor I had taken the time to build a relationship and establish trust. We were operating on assumptions.
How do we avoid making assumptions in the workplace? Here are three tips for you:
Tip #6: Look before you leap:
Almost every decision-making model has an information-gathering step. As soon as you enter a situation where the outcome doesn’t match your expectations, which is commonly known as a problem, you should gather evidence to find out what happened. During this phase, there will be plenty of opportunities to ask yourself, “Have I gathered enough evidence yet?” You need more evidence if you find holes in the story or things you don’t understand. In the immortal words of Michael Jackson. Don’t stop ‘til you get enough.
Tip #7: Seek Clarity:
It’s important to seek clarification using open-ended questions when gathering information or understanding a situation. Open-ended questions typically start with “How,” “What,” “Why,” or “Describe.” The goal is to solicit honest opinions or feelings without passing judgment or railroading the conversation. There’s no perfect way of doing it, but you should know that you’re asking the wrong questions if you get one-word answers.
Tip #8: Question your biases:
This may be the most challenging tip in the entire video, and it probably deserves its own video. Even just recognizing you have biases can present a challenge. That’s why the two previous tips are valuable. The best way to avoid falling into a bias trap is to rely on others.
Seeking feedback from people on your team and then actively listening to that feedback (open-ended questions are a big help) will ensure you are exposed to perspectives from which your biases shield you. As you speak with and listen to others, be mindful of your emotional and mental reactions to what they say. Take time to ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way? What evidence do I have to support this reaction?”
By challenging our biases and taking deliberate steps to gather evidence and communicate clearly, we can break free from the traps of assumption and build stronger, more authentic relationships. And when we combine this with the trust-building practices we’ve covered, we create a workplace culture where collaboration, understanding, and growth can truly thrive. Let’s bring it all together.
Conclusion
Understanding the difference between trust and assumption is key to building stronger relationships at work. Trust is built on evidence, past experience, and ongoing positive interactions—praise, constructive feedback, and vulnerability all play a critical role. By recognizing consistent behaviour, providing meaningful feedback, and remaining transparent, we can foster a culture of trust at work where everyone feels supported and empowered.
However, as we’ve seen, trust isn’t without its pitfalls. Blind trust can cloud our judgment, so verifying and starting small as trust develops is essential. Assumptions, on the other hand, can lead to miscommunication and wasted time, as they are based on preconceived notions without evidence. Gathering evidence, asking the right questions, and recognizing our biases is vital to avoid assumptions.
We can create a more efficient, collaborative, and supportive workplace by combining these practices—recognizing consistent behaviour, offering feedback, thoughtfully building trust at work, and avoiding assumptions. It all starts with how we approach our relationships and interactions, making trust the foundation for both personal and professional growth.
Do you see any opportunities to build trust in your relationships? What steps will you take today to build trust in your workplace and beyond?
If you’re ready to improve workplace relationships and build stronger trust at work, book a free one-on-one chat with me on my website. The link is in the description. I’d love to help you tackle your specific challenges!
So, thank you for watching, like and subscribe if you found the video helpful, and to all you leaders out there. Take care.
